melayneseahawk: (flowers)
I went to physical therapy.

I talked to a financial adviser at my bank about investment options.

I gave my information to an organization I want to volunteer with.

I bought coffee filters.

Can I have my reward now?
melayneseahawk: (abandon hope)
Cold recovery now extended to almost two weeks, plus a bout of depression and a trip to the ER due to an allergic reaction to the Ambien I was given so I could sleep through the coughing. *sigh*

But! Cold is almost gone and allergy is being treated and depressive spiral was broken by the ER trip. So I've gotten more done today than I have in close to two weeks and I actually feel positive about it. I did accomplish one useful thing while I was sick, though, which was to talk to Nik* about FUTURE PLANS. I still don't really know what I'm doing, but I think I've narrowed it down some.

The biggest problem right now is actually DragonCon. For the first time ever, I'm not really enthusiastic about going. Maybe it's because I feel completely disconnected from fandom, or that the things I nerd out about have shifted without me getting involved in the fandom communities for the source material. Maybe it's the depression (though this was actually going on before the most recent bout). Maybe I'm just having issues remembering how much fun con is, and only focusing on the negative stuff (lots of walking, lots of lines, the hard-work side of cosplaying). Nik and I are probably only going to cosplay one day this year, rather than two or three, but does anyone have any ideas for how to get my con nerd mojo back?

*For those not in the know, Nik is my fiancé. If you've met him, you probably know his real name, but Nik is a nickname.
melayneseahawk: (fiction)
Wow. I haven't posted here for over a year and a half. And it's been a big year and a half, let me tell you.

In that time I have:
-- moved crosscountry
-- fallen in love
-- vacationed in Mexico and saw Chichén Itzá
-- adopted a dog
-- gotten engaged
-- moved to a different apartment
-- had short-term three jobs
-- made a bunch of new friends

I'm planning on returning to LJ and fandom starting now, though the ramp-up might be slow. I missed you guys!

i live!

Thursday, 2 August 2012 00:19
melayneseahawk: (plot)
returning to lj as of 1 aug. life is still completely insane, but it should settle down one way or another very soon, and then i'll be able to talk about it. that being said, just know that i'm a) not dead and b) still around, so feel free to bug me if needed.

also! [ profile] jd_ficathon sign-ups are live, and will be until the last week of the month. spread the word and sign up, people!

fuck my life

Wednesday, 8 February 2012 23:57
melayneseahawk: (crisis)
This was supposed to be a post about how I wrote today, for the first time since November.

Instead, this is going to be a post about the fact that my dad announced today that he's moving out, has already arranged a new place, and is planning on divorcing her to marry someone else.

I--there were no words for my rage when I found out. I actually threw my phone across the room (bounced it off the radiator) when I got off the phone with him. Phone, yes. Because he decided to tell me this when he was in DC and I had just arrived back in Pittsburgh a few hours earlier. And then he has the balls to offer to stop by for a visit this weekend...with the woman he's leaving my mother for.

There's more--there always is, isn't there--but suffice it to say that I'm still pretty furious, and I spent a good two hours crying, and between those to factors and the fact that my back is so tense you could probably bounce coins off the muscles, I'm probably not sleeping tonight. I did manage to finish eating after I got off the phone with him, and I haven't thrown up yet, so that's something.

The good news is that Mom seems to be doing ok, at least for now, and is definitely more worried about me than herself at the moment. But the two of them--they haven't gotten along, or even liked each other, for a long time now, but they at least complemented each other in their skill sets. Mom doesn't know how to iron her own clothes, or troubleshoot when her computer acts up, and she's in the middle of switching the program she does her billing in. Dad barely knows how to take care of himself when it comes to things like washing dishes and folding laundry. I don't know what to do with either of them.

Mom wants me to make sure I call my shrink, make sure she's keeping an eye on me. Unfortunately, she's not overreacting: I had been doing better then last week or so, but it's still very fragile, and this is certainly enough of a blow that it might break it. On the other hand, people with depression are often much better at coping with concrete problems, and this is definitely up there. Even if I'm in Pittsburgh and not really able to help.

And they expect me to keep plugging along and trying to get better, like nothing's happened? Yeah, right.

(I'm turning comments off, because I really don't want to hear it right now.)
melayneseahawk: (explode)
Not-quite-a-week with the parents turned into week-and-a-half with the parents, but that's not the end of the world. I got to see all my DC friends (including one who is moving to Seattle this month! what is it with me and losing people to Seattle?), and am going to be able to go Israeli dancing twice, so that's pretty neat. Also, Mom and I went to see the Anglo-Saxon Hoard exhibit at the National Geographic Museum, which was amazing. Seriously, if you are in the DC area, you should try to see it, it's really neat, and likely will not be in the US again after the exhibit closes in early March.

Things! are going on in [ profile] stargate_summer and [ profile] jd_ficathon, and the New Grammarian Drive is still going on for [ profile] fandom_grammar, so that's all exciting. [ profile] brainofck has taken over as my alpha reader for my [ profile] stargate_summer, which is awesome; we've already found a solution to one of the major problems I'd been having; naturally, said solution requires research, but isn't that always the case?

Moodwise, I've actually been feeling better the last week or so--minus a teeny tiny breakdown last night--but there's no way of knowing if that's because of the new medicine (it has a flavor! and that flavor is black cherry ick) or because I've been around people this last week, so we shall see if it continues when I'm back on my own in the Burgh. I hope so, I really do. I'm so, so tired of being a lump of sad all the time.

Not Dead

Tuesday, 3 January 2012 13:16
melayneseahawk: (crisis)
Update on the last six months and end-of-year memes will be up over the next few days. Happy New Year, everyone!
melayneseahawk: (school)
You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute! Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating THAT PERSON? Since when?" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! [Ed.: only if you want to.] Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-word answers seldom help anyone out.

All About Me )


Saturday, 8 January 2011 22:15
melayneseahawk: (trowel)
Safe and sound at [ profile] theemdash and [ profile] mckays_lab's house, which is very exciting. I'm here for a week, after which I continue southward to meet up with the rest of the fam and visit my granddad. Very exciting. Week will be filled with SGTV filming, lan party, writing, amusement parks, and other such awesomeness.

:D :D :D
melayneseahawk: (plot tribbles)
~ did not get up on time, so younger brother jumped on head
~ scraped up hands on rabbit cage
~ signed up for [ profile] stargate_summer again

I'm just a masochist, aren't I?

But! I have a plot, and it involves SPACE PIRATES. For real this time!

It's all [ profile] theemdash's fault?
melayneseahawk: (january - looking forward looking back)
[ profile] disco_nun and I were going to hang out, since her boyfriend was out of town. We tried to get some other folk to come along, but it would up just being the two of us, though that was cool, anyway. She got us tickets for the event at a bar/club called Lux, but when we were poking around their website later, we realized it was likely we would be the only white people there. So we took the info for a place that was having a free, no-tickets event, and got on the subway with the plan to decide which one to go to on the train.

Chickened out of going to the first bar, went to the second bar instead. Unfortunately, it was stupid crowded, and no one was dancing, so at about 10, we decided to toss that and go somewhere more familiar, so we left, with the plan of going to an Irish pub closer to home. It took like 20 minutes for me to pay my tab, because I could not get to the bar, and then I had to get away from the bar, which was even harder.

By this point, my feet were killing me because I picked the wrong pair of shoes to wear if I was going to do lots of walking, so I took off my shoes, and I wandered back to the subway barefoot. But there's a Krispy Kreme above the nearest subway station to the second bar, and [ profile] disconun's from New England, where Krispy Kreme is a delicacy. So we stopped in for a doughnut, then got on the subway.

We got to the pub at like 11:30, ordered beer and fish&chips, did the champagne toast at midnight, and left around 12:45 because we were both falling asleep. Then we got back on the subway, picked up the car, and she drove me home.

Epic, and fun despite the disappointment of the second bar. I'm a failure at being a 20-something. :D

needs more cookies!

Saturday, 3 July 2010 19:43
melayneseahawk: (salt)
Or dots. :P

Mood seems to be much better. Have gotten over my head cold (who gets a cold in 90 degree summer weather? I do!). Going to try to sort out the Borders situation soon; hopefully, they'll be willing to take me back, and then I'll have a job.

Crispy Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies
from Smitten Kitchen
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325°.

Sift flour, baking soda, and salt in small bowl and set aside. Cream melted butter and sugars until well blended and smooth. Beat in vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in dry ingredients until just blended, then stir in chocolate chips with a wooden spoon.

Drop cookies by rounded tablespoons onto parchment-covered baking sheets. Bake 10-15 minutes, until edges of cookies are toasted, then remove to wire racks to cool.

Makes about 3 dozen.
melayneseahawk: (vent)
"hits his button" is one of the least sexy euphemisms for the prostate I have ever read. I'm not supposed to be laughing at your sex scene.

The human body is not an arcade game.
melayneseahawk: (meme)
Was supposed to go up to Frostbite Falls to pick up the Geekling from college, but I've got work tomorrow afternoon, so instead I have the house to myself while the 'rents make the trip. So far, I've ironed two shirts, posted my Remix, rewatched Iron Man, and wrote the crossword puzzle for the Stargate Multiverse Track Scavenger Hunt. Largely by myself, though I did get [ profile] mckays_lab's help for the last few clues.

I laid it out on an UpWords board so I could "build" the puzzle. Yes, I am that much of a dork. No, you can't have pictures, because it would give it away.

I'm indecisive about dinner. Here, have a meme:

1. Reply to this post and ask to play, and I will pick six of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon squee. Whoo!

cut for length (hur hur) )
melayneseahawk: (double)
To the mothers on my flist, and to the mothers-of-my-flist. May you be appreciated this much every day of the year.

As of yesterday afternoon, I finally have a job, at the café at the local Borders. My training starts next week. Entertainingly, I'm being hired to help retrain the café staff, which means they're going to be paying me more and giving me more hours. It's kind of exciting.
melayneseahawk: (city in the sun)
In the middle of March, I went to New York City for about a week. The family was there for the first few days, and then I stayed at [ profile] triannamaxwell's apartment and got to see a bit more of the city on my own.

I was born in NYC, though we moved when I was relatively small, and this was the first time I spent any time in the city on my own. I still get terribly lost (I can't tell you how many time I got turned around and went a block in the wrong direction before seeing the street signs and going back), but something about the city still feels like home. If I had any doubts about wanting to move there after college, this trip laid that to rest.

so nice they named it twice )

And then Friday I got back on the bus to go home. Alas. I can't wait to go back.

linkspam wins!

Friday, 16 April 2010 22:24
melayneseahawk: (caffeinated)
But I'll be posting it tomorrow, since I'm too sleepy to do all the typing and coding right now.
melayneseahawk: (salmonella bomb)
1. Well, that was a nice couple days of normal moods. Too bad it seems to be over. :(

2. Real-Person Slash is never not creepy. *shudders*

3. Recipe! These guys are less maple cookie and more sugar cookie with a hint of maple. Subtle, but in a good way. I'm guessing that the glaze would negate that, but I didn't make it since I was concerned that it would make the cookies too sticky to store.

Maple Cookies (with optional glaze)
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
2 large eggs
3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon coarse salt

Preheat oven to 350°. In a medium bowl, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in 1/2 cup maple syrup and eggs. Gradually stir in flour and salt. Dough will be very sticky.

Scoop dough onto baking sheets in rounded teaspoons, spaced 2" apart. Using fingers or the back of a spoon, flatten cookies to 1/4 inch thickness.

Bake 12-15 minutes, until cookies are just beginning to brown at the edges. Transfer cookies to wire racks to cool.

Glaze: In a small saucepan, simmer 1 cup maple syrup until reduced to 3/4 cup. When cookies are cooled, spoon the syrup over the cookies and sprinkle each cookie with a little salt.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies (I made a half batch and came up with 29, so do the math).

3a. OMG I have so much work to do tomorrow...
melayneseahawk: (hair)
1. Used public transit to get to class today for the first time since the snow. Was easier than I might have expected, though I did fall into a snowbank up to my thighs when I stepped on a spot that was not as solid as I'd thought. Oh, my poor coat. I will treat you to a trip to the dry cleaners once it gets warm.

2. Speaking of spring, it is my intention to cut my hair in April or so. It's currently down to my waist and still growing...and covering the house. Maybe if I start thinking about what to do with it now, I will have decided by April. :P

3. Thing #6283 That Annoys Mel: people who walk excruciatingly slowly down a pathway that you can't pass them on (hip-high snow on either side, yo).

4. My writing prof is an asshole, but at least he seems to realize when he's wrong. He keeps penalizing me for the fact that I'm not actually registered for his class yet (paperwork issues), to the point where it looked for about two hours today that I was going to have to turn in a final draft of my first short story with no outside editing at all. We got to the last 45 minutes of class, and he decided that I was going to be the one workshopped, which was fantastic (except he felt the need to point out that I didn't have copies for the class, which was kind of of obvious, and his fault, anyway, for not responding to his goddamn e-mail). But, I got helpful comments (eventually, see below), so at least I have something to work on.

4a. And then I traumatized the class with my Little Gay Story. The story ends with a kiss between two people who happen to be male, and I finished reading the story aloud, looked up, and silence in the theatre. I had to do a little rationalizing of my existence ("I'm a lesbian. This is the world I live in. This is what I know."), but once people got talking they mostly had helpful things to say. But wow, you'd think they'd never met a gay person before. :(
melayneseahawk: (plot tribbles)
It appears to have finally stopped snowing, at least for now. I don't know what the final accumulation numbers are, but tomorrow I'll be shoveling it. *headdesk*

I'm a couple months late to the party, but I finally had time to contribute to [personal profile] synecdochic's 101 Times JD Neilson Hitched a Ride, which is a project to cross her version of the Jack O'Neill clone (from her Broken Wings 'verse and others) with characters from any other source material. I picked Trip from Star Trek: Enterprise.

Really, it was all just an excuse to have JD scoff at the idea of enlisting in Star Fleet. :D

Stranger Things | G | 560 words | complete

Now to work on all the deadlined fic, and the school work, and...


melayneseahawk: (Default)

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