melayneseahawk: (abandon hope)
Cold recovery now extended to almost two weeks, plus a bout of depression and a trip to the ER due to an allergic reaction to the Ambien I was given so I could sleep through the coughing. *sigh*

But! Cold is almost gone and allergy is being treated and depressive spiral was broken by the ER trip. So I've gotten more done today than I have in close to two weeks and I actually feel positive about it. I did accomplish one useful thing while I was sick, though, which was to talk to Nik* about FUTURE PLANS. I still don't really know what I'm doing, but I think I've narrowed it down some.

The biggest problem right now is actually DragonCon. For the first time ever, I'm not really enthusiastic about going. Maybe it's because I feel completely disconnected from fandom, or that the things I nerd out about have shifted without me getting involved in the fandom communities for the source material. Maybe it's the depression (though this was actually going on before the most recent bout). Maybe I'm just having issues remembering how much fun con is, and only focusing on the negative stuff (lots of walking, lots of lines, the hard-work side of cosplaying). Nik and I are probably only going to cosplay one day this year, rather than two or three, but does anyone have any ideas for how to get my con nerd mojo back?

*For those not in the know, Nik is my fiancé. If you've met him, you probably know his real name, but Nik is a nickname.
melayneseahawk: (achiever)
And then I caught some throat bug that laid me out for a week. *headdesk*

I'm mostly better now, but I need to be careful not to push myself. I'm also going stir-crazy, which is a bad combination. But! I may have made some decisions vis-à-vis the BIG LIFE DECISIONS front, so that's good.
melayneseahawk: (nom)
Found out today that I did not get the job I had interviewed for. This is not a terrible thing, but it still kind of sucks. Nik made the awesome point that there is a false dichotomy when one applies for a job: the result is not good/bad, it's good/neutral. So, neutral, but it still makes me a little grumpy.

I restart physical therapy for my knees today. My old PT isn't there anymore, so I get to start with someone new, but that's alright. I'd just love to be able to walk down a flight of stairs without cringing and not have to worry about fucking up my ability to walk if I'm not uber careful on uneven ground. In case you didn't know, Seattle is really fucking hilly and I refuse to carry a cane when I shouldn't actually need one.

Also, it is hot. Seattle, why is it hot? You're not supposed to be hot. Bleh.

(See how interesting my life is? :P)
melayneseahawk: (filthy hippie)
Finally returning to LJ. And since a lot has happened in the past months, I thought I'd meme it up to catch everyone up.

Also, I've been on LJ eight years today. Terrifying.

Journal Entries: 1,470
Tags: 98
Userpics: 190

Comments posted: 12,009
Comments received: 2,967

Mutual Friends: 29
Also Friend Of: 81
Member of Communities: 142

Communities moderated/created: [ profile] fandom_grammar (created), [ profile] jd_ficathon (created)

long meme under the cut )
melayneseahawk: (crazy)
Very overdue. Here's a basic overview of the last few months:

- moved to Pittsburgh in the middle of August for school
- started school the end of August; had a panic attack in my first class on my first day, but managed to go to classes the rest of that first week
- went to Dragon*Con, came back with a cold
- was unable to get to class for about a month; finally checked myself into the psych ER because I wasn't eating, and wasn't getting care since I didn't have a doctor yet; after some insurance company drama, I spent two nights in a partial inpatient program before returning to my apartment
- began attending an intensive outpatient program, which consisted of group and individual therapy and medication management
- went back to school for three weeks, and was doing pretty much fine, but then fell apart again; formally withdrew from school, with the intention of returning in the fall due to prereqs and stuff
- had another breakdown after Thanksgiving, which lead to me losing the job I had managed to get after withdrawing from school

Since then, I've finally found a doctor here in the Burgh, and we're starting to try to find an appropriate drug cocktail to get me functional again. It's...not pretty, but I'm still here, and I'll take what I can get.
melayneseahawk: (adult)
Updating from a Starbucks, where I am mooching Internet. There's been some big changes around here. I'll try to give you all the highlights:

I have moved from Washington DC to Pittsburgh, to finally complete my stage management BFA. Classes start Monday, which gives me this week to unpack and get settled in. The move itself was not without incident: massive storms in the drive up, the power was out when we got here, and then the elevator broke down once the power came back on. Dad and I managed to haul everything up the four flights of stairs to my place--even the seven boxes of books and the a/c unit--install the a/c, and do a massive grocery haul. I'm gradually unpacking and arranging everything, though this is complicated by the fact that Verizon is being idiotic about my Internet, and I may not have any until the end of September. Bleh.

In other news, I am also preparing for Dragon*Con, which I am really looking forward to this year. I have a bunch of new costumes, and intend to take full advantage of my free status this year. I am going to panels. I am going to parties. I am going to haggle in the dealer rooms. I am going to have fun.

[ profile] jd_ficathon is still on this year, of course. Go to the comm (or its DW sister of the same name) to see the rules and sign up. Sign-ups end on Friday.

Will update again when I'm mooching next!
melayneseahawk: (academic terms)
Not dead, just really busy. I'm currently at Orientation for NewSchool, killing time between things. Will have a more complete update when I get home on Monday.


Wednesday, 6 April 2011 11:49
melayneseahawk: (cursor)
Not dead, just very busy. Here's a basic update of the last two weeks:

Have gone back to work, which is a good thing. It means money, and it means something to do, and it's a constant ego boost, because both my bosses (I have two, it's complicated) think I'm wonderful. It's nice to be appreciated. :D

Mood has generally been pretty good, though of course I've started experiencing one of the negative side effects of one of the meds. Actually, I've been experiencing it for a few months, but just realized it. Basically, I've gained about 20 pounds in three months. Now, I was too thin before that, so about 10-15 of those are welcome, but it means that most of my pants don't fit anymore and my tits are now enormous. Will be adding exercise to my schedule (finally; should have done that years ago), and changing my eating habits a bit, but I'm not sure if I want to go clothes shopping before I lose that five pounds. On the one hand, it sucks that only two pairs of jeans and my three work pants still fit. On the other, I don't want to spend $40+ per pair on jeans, only to have them potentially not fit if the weight comes off. If anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I'd love to hear them.

I've officially finished four of my six college applications (one rejected me before I could finish, the other I still have to do the interview). I'm all-but-formally-accepted to one of my top schools, which is really great, and I should be hearing back from the others soon. Then I have to visit the ones I haven't seen, and make a decision. Eep.

Have also decided to let my [ profile] stargate_summer fic wait until next year. Between my schedule and [ profile] theemdash's, there was no way it was going to be done in time. Apparently, it takes me two years if I want to write something novel-length. *shrugs*

Had a fight with a new recipe yesterday and the day before, and while I've learned a lot, it's still not perfect. I mean, it tastes good, but it doesn't look right yet. But I have some ideas for how to deal with that, so it will take more experimentation when I have time (and more blue food coloring).

I feel like today is going to be a spammy day, so I'll likely see you all again soon. :P
melayneseahawk: (explode)
Have broken my "don't wind up in the hospital" resolution already: spent Sunday afternoon in Urgent Care with the Mysterious Bump of Mystery on my forehead. First I thought I'd banged it on something, then when my whole forehead swelled up the advice nurse thought it was an infection. The Urgent Care doc took one look at my byzantine medical history and decided to go a little crazy: antibiotic cocktail and take me off my new birth control, just in case it was an allergic reaction.

Had follow-up with my regular doc today, who listened to my symptoms, poked me in the head, and declared it an allergic reaction to a spider bite. Off the antibiotics, back on the birth control; 'round we go, where it stops, nobody knows.


On the other hand, I finally finally FINALLY took that make-up exam from last semester. You know, the one that was giving me panic attacks? It wasn't great, but at least it's over.

And then I got myself back on the schedule at work, and rewarded myself with ice cream, so all and all I'd call today a win.


Thursday, 3 March 2011 21:45
melayneseahawk: (school)
Four interviews down (Boston, Emerson, Point Park, DePaul), two to go. Miami is scheduled for Monday. VCU is being odd. I will harass them next week.

Still have not taken make-up exam from last semester. This is getting downright pathetic. Anyone want to take some time Tuesday morning and drive my ass down to campus and make me sit this test? *sigh*

There are two other Big Things I need to talk about, but they'll each get their own post. Expect spammity over the next few days.

Now to break my heart all over again avoid writing.
melayneseahawk: (school)
Two interviews down, four to go. I'm doing a daytrip (*headdesk*) up to Pittsburgh tomorrow for one interview, one will be on the phone, and two have not been scheduled yet. It's very exciting. And by exciting, I mean nerve-wracking.

Further updates will be available later this weekend, after I get back.
melayneseahawk: (school)
You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute! Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating THAT PERSON? Since when?" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! [Ed.: only if you want to.] Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-word answers seldom help anyone out.

All About Me )
melayneseahawk: (double)
Finally went over to Borders to see whether I still have a job and--surprisingly--I do. And, in the time I was gone, the Boss was able to fire CafeBoss and replace him, so that means I no longer have to do the spy gal deal. And I'm going to be able to get good (re)training at another store, so when I go back to work I'll actually know what I'm doing.

Here, it's hot, have a yummy summer recipe.

Mel's Ginger Limeade
4 limes
4 by 1 by 1 inches of ginger
8 tablespoons sugar
filtered water

Use a pitcher with measurements on the side. Juice limes. Peel ginger and coarsely chop. Add limes, ginger, and sugar to the pitcher and mix. Add water to the 2 quart line, then add ice to increase liquid level an additional cup. Shake vigorously and chill at least 12 hours before serving, shaking often if possible (like, whenever you go near the fridge).

Mix will become more gingery over time, so let it steep until you like the way it tastes and strain out ginger pieces and any lime pulp. Serve chilled.

needs more cookies!

Saturday, 3 July 2010 19:43
melayneseahawk: (salt)
Or dots. :P

Mood seems to be much better. Have gotten over my head cold (who gets a cold in 90 degree summer weather? I do!). Going to try to sort out the Borders situation soon; hopefully, they'll be willing to take me back, and then I'll have a job.

Crispy Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies
from Smitten Kitchen
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325°.

Sift flour, baking soda, and salt in small bowl and set aside. Cream melted butter and sugars until well blended and smooth. Beat in vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in dry ingredients until just blended, then stir in chocolate chips with a wooden spoon.

Drop cookies by rounded tablespoons onto parchment-covered baking sheets. Bake 10-15 minutes, until edges of cookies are toasted, then remove to wire racks to cool.

Makes about 3 dozen.

oh boy

Thursday, 29 April 2010 11:39
melayneseahawk: (gambler)
Job interview today. If I'm very, very lucky I'll have a job when I walk out. If I'm somewhat lucky, they'll still have to call my references.

I'd really, really like to have a paying job soon. My plans for the next six months kind of hinge on it. A lot.

melayneseahawk: (city in the sun)
In the middle of March, I went to New York City for about a week. The family was there for the first few days, and then I stayed at [ profile] triannamaxwell's apartment and got to see a bit more of the city on my own.

I was born in NYC, though we moved when I was relatively small, and this was the first time I spent any time in the city on my own. I still get terribly lost (I can't tell you how many time I got turned around and went a block in the wrong direction before seeing the street signs and going back), but something about the city still feels like home. If I had any doubts about wanting to move there after college, this trip laid that to rest.

so nice they named it twice )

And then Friday I got back on the bus to go home. Alas. I can't wait to go back.

dear life

Tuesday, 13 April 2010 12:37
melayneseahawk: (adult)
So, I just finished filling out two job applications, with two more lined up to fill out in two weeks or so if I don't hear from the first two. I'm trying, okay?

My birthday's on Monday.

A job would be a lovely birthday present. Really.

Here's hoping,
melayneseahawk: (bring back black)
Have been having nightmares the last few days of being in my house and there being monsters or robbers or [insert fantastical whatever here] trying to get in. I don't need a dream dictionary or a shrink to translate them.

It's clear my subconscious is worried about leaving my comfort zone. The house is safe, not somewhere I'm trapped.

The medicine cocktail I'm on right now seems to be working. I still have less-than-great days, but I think I'm ready to start job hunting, and maybe moving out again once I have employment. Then from there the plan is to go back to taking classes this summer, and maybe Fall 2011 will be my triumphant(?) return to the world of the four year college.

My birthday is in two weeks, and I'm going to be old enough that I've had friends I've known for over a decade and friends are moving in with their SOs and getting married and moving on. And I've spent the last couple years raging about the fact that I haven't been doing the same.

And now that I am? It's quite clear that at least part of me is terrified.

Here's hoping I can cope.


Monday, 1 February 2010 22:52
melayneseahawk: (jumping kitty)
Very good day, particularly considering how bad the last few were. Will be less vague in the morning, I'm sleepy now.
melayneseahawk: (dance)
aka the aforementioned RL update

Things have settled down, finally. I started a new medication, which might help with my mood, and also might help fix the fact that I'm always freezing; apparently my thyroid function was on the low side of normal, and bringing that up might solve two problems. Hopefully. Also, I've learned that my cholesterol and triglycerides are bizarrely high (the one thing I got from my mother's side of the family, wonderful), so now I have to change my diet. More oatmeal, more exercise, but I refuse to give up the cheese. (It's also possible that one of the meds I'm on is adding to this problem, which would be just peachy.)

Finally, finally, finally took that art history test make-up. It was making me crazy, and I do not exaggerate there. The test itself was a bear (two periods she never covered in class, a couple of images I'd never seen before), but it's over and done with and I don't really care anymore. I had A's on every other test and assignment in the class, so I'll probably wind up with a B for the final grade, and that's fine.

Spring semester starts tomorrow. I'm taking Intro to Sociology and Intro to Political Science. I'm also going to be taking a writing course, but it's taking a little bit of effort to sign up for it. Should have it sorted out by the end of the day tomorrow.

And if the first two weeks of classes go well, I'll be filling out a few job applications. The places all seem to be hiring, so fingers crossed and all that.

And then I have to start contacting and applying to colleges. Man, the future is scary.


melayneseahawk: (Default)

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