Pomp and Circumstance (emphasis on the pomp)

[melayneseahawk]

Today feels like a Saturday because everyone's home, but it's actually because my baby bro is graduating today. We're going to be dropping him off at the school (they're bussing the kids over) and then driving down to the city, parking at Mum's parking space in Foggy Bottom (swear to God, that's what that part of town is actually called, and walking to DAR Constitution Hall. A teeny part of me is jealous--my graduation was at this horrific Baptist church because we did badly in the DAR lottery that year--but I'm just so proud of him. It was kind of touch and go there for a little while.

Plus, Frank Warren is his graduation speaker, so that's neat, too.

I have to say, I'm really worried about my bro. He's always had trouble in school: first, because he had undiagnosed learning disorders until a teacher told my parents to get him checked out in fifth grade (though I'd been trying to tell my parents the same thing since he was much younger, not that anyone listened to me); and then later because he just doesn't care if it doesn't interest him, and all that interests him is computer games. He's going to be starting at an in-state school that's a few hours away (MD is long from certain angles), and I'm really, really worried that he's going to make all the same mistakes of not going to class that I did, though for the reason that he just doesn't care. I had a goal in mind, even then, but he doesn't.

I've been saying for years now that he should have deferred a year and worked in between, to learn that RL sucks if you don't have a bachelor's degree (in general, but I'd rather have him learn the lesson and then not need it than the other way 'round). Naturally, I got informed that I could tell other people what to do with their lives once I got mine sorted out. My family goes for the jugular.

The child is going to be going to school without having picked a major, and he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. He's also got no real self-discipline. I'm assuming everyone can see why I'm worried.

Comments

[muck-a-luck.livejournal.com]

I'm going to hold out the hope that part of the reason your brother lacks interest is because he's smart like you and high school just isn't that challenging. Being away at school is so differnt, the academic atmosphere is so much more exciting. Hopefully, since he's determined to go right away, the nature of education at the tertiary level will finally give him a reason to be interested and care.

I have achieved the age where I can look back and think, I wish I had understood that then, but I also remember what then was like, and I know that then I would never have listened, so there would have been no point in someone, like my parents or brother, trying to direct me anyway. You can't save your brother from his own (possible future) mistakes. Have hope and don't borrow trouble?

Congratulations to him on the end of one era and the beginning of the next! :D

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

I know that then I would never have listened

Oh, I know, that's why I phrase any and all advice to him very carefully. And why I'm getting him a book of funny college advice as part of his graduation/move-in gift. :D

My concern isn't that he doesn't care about his classes (I can relate; they were so dumb it was hard to bring myself to care); it's that nothing seems to interest him. I think he'd be in heaven if he could just get paid to play video games all day, but they don't do that. He's never expressed much interest in learning to make said games, and while he's played flute for close to 10 years now and seems to enjoy it, he hates practicing and has to be forced/bribed into doing it.

*sigh* The real problem is that I care about him so I worry. I'm sure something will spark his interest and off he'll run, but I'll just worry until then.

[triannamaxwell.livejournal.com]

::puts on RA cap:: Plenty of kids come to college without knowing what to do, or just barely what they are interested in. They work it out from there, although some of that is luck and others taking an interest in him. Tommy is still at Frostburg if you would like to talk to him about getting your brother engaged. E may just need to join the Gaming Club and they can begin to direct him. I know so many kids who put video games before any class but they still made it or are making it through school. I don't think taking a year off is a bad idea either, and your bro may come to that. He'll make whatever path he finds.

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

Tommy's great, but I'm not sure I want him instructing my baby bro on how to handle college. :P

Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to have any interest in making games, just playing them. And he seems to enjoy playing flute (and the couple of times he tutored other music students) but he needs to be forced to practice. I'm sure something with catch his interest enough to drive him, and I just have to wait until it does.

[ibneko.livejournal.com]

If games interest him, see if you can get him interested in making games - either programming or designing art / game levels. Show him job offers from game companies, like, say, Blizzard (http://www.blizzard.com/us/jobopp/?rhtml=y). That might give him a goal to shoot for, which... even if he doesn't get hired by a gaming company, he'll have marketable skills if he tries really hard to get there.

Word of caution though - since the number of people that want to work in the gaming industry is so high, salaries aren't exactly awesome and normal gaming companies (not startups like the one I'm at) are rumored to be very stressful.

[melayneseahawk.livejournal.com]

We've suggested that, but he's done some programming in school and it's never interested him.

I'd like for him to have a goal, since it makes it easier to weather the crap, but I know I can't make him have one.