Rosh Hashanah Services

So today's rent-a-hazzan was flat, and he sang soooooo veeeeerrrrrrryyy slooooowwwwlllyyyyy. . . (the Rabbi looked like he wanted to kill the guy )

The best part, of course, was the guy with the shofar. He had the best lung capacity I've ever heard. That's the guy on the ram's horn. Ask me about how cool it was.

And I can't decide which of the Rabbi's sermons scared me more: last year's, where he went on about the evils of intermarriage and basically saying that Jewish children (especially girls) should grow up to be Jewish baby-making machines; or this year's, which was freakishly patriotic. And my mother, of course, liked them both.

And the average age at my synagogue continues to hover around 75, since we've lost a few in the past few weeks. And there are still exactly 5 of us int he 12th grade: me; Daniel, who has been my arch-nemesis since second grade; Aaron, who still hates me for getting into IB when he didn't; Anna, who won't deign to talk to anyone who doesn't go to a Jewish day school; and Erica, who is a rich bitch and is also mad at me for getting into IB when her father's money couldn't. Ah, Alyssa, why did you leave me alone to this mess?

I can't wait until college. Then I'll never have to set foot in a synagogue again.

Rosh Hashanah Services

So today's rent-a-hazzan was flat, and he sang soooooo veeeeerrrrrrryyy slooooowwwwlllyyyyy. . . (the Rabbi looked like he wanted to kill the guy )

The best part, of course, was the guy with the shofar. He had the best lung capacity I've ever heard. That's the guy on the ram's horn. Ask me about how cool it was.

And I can't decide which of the Rabbi's sermons scared me more: last year's, where he went on about the evils of intermarriage and basically saying that Jewish children (especially girls) should grow up to be Jewish baby-making machines; or this year's, which was freakishly patriotic. And my mother, of course, liked them both.

And the average age at my synagogue continues to hover around 75, since we've lost a few in the past few weeks. And there are still exactly 5 of us int he 12th grade: me; Daniel, who has been my arch-nemesis since second grade; Aaron, who still hates me for getting into IB when he didn't; Anna, who won't deign to talk to anyone who doesn't go to a Jewish day school; and Erica, who is a rich bitch and is also mad at me for getting into IB when her father's money couldn't. Ah, Alyssa, why did you leave me alone to this mess?

I can't wait until college. Then I'll never have to set foot in a synagogue again.