highrise living for a joke like me

Or ruin. Who knows?

Today I applied for a part time sales position at a local small-time chain pet supply store in my neighborhood. Yes, my depression is far from managed right now, but we're trying something new that hopefully (fingers crossed!) will fix things. Also, being cooped up in the house with nothing to do is definitely exacerbating my symptoms: the depression makes me bored with my usual distraction techniques (tv, reading, World of Warcraft), so the time can only really be passed by napping, which is also not good for me.

So! Part time job to get me out of the house. We'll see how it goes.

Haven't heard back from Panera or the crepe place, though I'm not surprised. I wasn't particularly optimistic about my chances with either of those. I really need to go out pounding the pavement to find other job openings, but it's just so depressing. Monday. I'll do it Monday.

New news on the medication front, at least. ( medical babble )

Also started a regimen of stupid-high doses of vitamins B12 and D, because apparently my levels are super-low, which can cause mental health problems. Oh, it would be wonderful if all I needed to feel better was a fistful of vitamins, but I doubt I'll be that lucky.

Live-bloggin' from work, where I'm one of the babysitters for this clusterfuck of a show. The Embassy of [name of small African nation redacted] rented the theatre to put on some native play, translated into English. Yay, Cultural Arts Center putting on Works of Culture. Hooray.

They were late.

The catering from another event on campus showed up because they got lost.

The actors don't know how to stand where the light is, so I've been having to reach over the person running the pre-set cues to add lights where the people are standing.

The play itself is pretty awful--and a number of major plot points and jokes revolve around rape and other abuse of women.

Kill me now?

(Thank God it's almost over. I'm going to need booze when I get home.)

ETA: Dear God, my spelling is atrocious.

Not dead, just very busy. Here's a basic update of the last two weeks:

Have gone back to work, which is a good thing. It means money, and it means something to do, and it's a constant ego boost, because both my bosses (I have two, it's complicated) think I'm wonderful. It's nice to be appreciated. :D

Mood has generally been pretty good, though of course I've started experiencing one of the negative side effects of one of the meds. Actually, I've been experiencing it for a few months, but just realized it. Basically, I've gained about 20 pounds in three months. Now, I was too thin before that, so about 10-15 of those are welcome, but it means that most of my pants don't fit anymore and my tits are now enormous. Will be adding exercise to my schedule (finally; should have done that years ago), and changing my eating habits a bit, but I'm not sure if I want to go clothes shopping before I lose that five pounds. On the one hand, it sucks that only two pairs of jeans and my three work pants still fit. On the other, I don't want to spend $40+ per pair on jeans, only to have them potentially not fit if the weight comes off. If anyone has any thoughts on the matter, I'd love to hear them.

I've officially finished four of my six college applications (one rejected me before I could finish, the other I still have to do the interview). I'm all-but-formally-accepted to one of my top schools, which is really great, and I should be hearing back from the others soon. Then I have to visit the ones I haven't seen, and make a decision. Eep.

Have also decided to let my stargate_summer fic wait until next year. Between my schedule and theemdash's, there was no way it was going to be done in time. Apparently, it takes me two years if I want to write something novel-length. *shrugs*

Had a fight with a new recipe yesterday and the day before, and while I've learned a lot, it's still not perfect. I mean, it tastes good, but it doesn't look right yet. But I have some ideas for how to deal with that, so it will take more experimentation when I have time (and more blue food coloring).

I feel like today is going to be a spammy day, so I'll likely see you all again soon. :P

Finally went over to Borders to see whether I still have a job and--surprisingly--I do. And, in the time I was gone, the Boss was able to fire CafeBoss and replace him, so that means I no longer have to do the spy gal deal. And I'm going to be able to get good (re)training at another store, so when I go back to work I'll actually know what I'm doing.

Here, it's hot, have a yummy summer recipe.

Mel's Ginger Limeade
4 limes
4 by 1 by 1 inches of ginger
8 tablespoons sugar
filtered water
ice

Use a pitcher with measurements on the side. Juice limes. Peel ginger and coarsely chop. Add limes, ginger, and sugar to the pitcher and mix. Add water to the 2 quart line, then add ice to increase liquid level an additional cup. Shake vigorously and chill at least 12 hours before serving, shaking often if possible (like, whenever you go near the fridge).

Mix will become more gingery over time, so let it steep until you like the way it tastes and strain out ginger pieces and any lime pulp. Serve chilled.

Job interview today. If I'm very, very lucky I'll have a job when I walk out. If I'm somewhat lucky, they'll still have to call my references.

I'd really, really like to have a paying job soon. My plans for the next six months kind of hinge on it. A lot.

Eep.

Survived 4 hour shift after having not slept last night and being up and about all day. Will now crash out.

Alas, I will not be able to catch up on my sleep debt completely; I have work at noon.

Sign-ups for the jd_ficathon opened today. Easy-peasy ficathon. Go sign up.

Yesterday, I went in to work for a two-hour meeting at 8a. The meeting lasted until 11a, and then my boss said "want to work this afternoon?" More fool me, I said yes. So, three hour meeting, plus seven hour shift, and it was just me and the manager from 4p until 7:30p, when we finished prep for the next day, because people had called out. My feet hate me.

Aah, my manager just called to have me work...tonight.

And (I can't believe I'm saying this) I have nothing to wear.

So! I get to run over to the mall, pick up a pair of shoes at DSW, and then buy an outfit to work in. I was putting off any large purchase until the weekend; we have a meeting on Sunday for the fall styles, and we get an additional discount then, plus I have a 50% on my first purchase, thought I don't want to use it yet.

*flails*

What was I thinking, applying for a fashion-based job.

I've figured out the root of this most recent episode, not that it helps much. My brain has a disturbing habit of self-sabotage that it really, really needs to grow out of. I'm going to get to work tomorrow (yay, orientation) if it kills me, but the way I'm feeling right now? It might.

Add to this the fact that there are some side-effects from the Seroquel that haven't gone away. The meds don't make me sleep more; they just make it harder for me to fight the urge to stay in bed. I've long used sleep as an avoidance tactic, and the Seroquel just makes that easier. But I don't think there's anything else I can try that won't cause harder problems to deal with.

How many negatives were in that sentence? Eew.

stargate_summer is going nowhere fast, which sucks. I really want to finish this, to be able to say I accomplished something this summer. (Getting the job doesn't count; keeping it is much more important.) I feel like the words are there, but I just can't get them on the page.

I guess I'll go eat something, and then see if I can sit down at write something: some filler for Act II, an outline for Act III, the end of Act III (which is relatively clear in my head), something. I know I'll only feel worse if the only thing I accomplished today was to get up (eventually) and fold a few loads of laundry.